Berny! Berni! Bernie! Has Done It Again

In the words of Tommy Lee Jones in The Fugitive, "My, my, my, what a mess." Bernard Goldberg is still having a hard time making his case against who is ruining America and how they are doing it. Crooks and Liars have another clip of Bernie Goldberg demonstrating how weak he is at selling his point when not surrounded by friends at Fox. Again, I'm going to stick up for him just a bit here. It must be incredibly hard to go on a show stacked 5 people deep who are ideologically opposed to you and your book and make a good case for yourself........ but still Bernie is on the defensive from the word go. And again, what's so polite about saying shut up repeatedly? It seems Bernie is out to attack rudeness and obscenities, but doesn't seem to understand that being rude in the process is not helping his case. I have a feeling if Bernard Goldberg wrote a book sticking up for animal rights he'd hit the talk show circuit wearing a fur-lined leather coat and chomping on a Big Mac between his holier than thou replies to the interviewers and talking heads.

Even without Bernard Goldberg that clip is still funny though. Who watches this crap? Why is people screaming at each other still passing for serious debate? You could say that this is some fringe show on the fringiest of the cable news channels, but it seems to me that this is the format used on all the news channels. It's been nearly a year since a certain someone went on a certain show that doesn't exist anymore and claimed, "You're hurting America." I realize that certain someone is a comedian who went on to call one of the co-host of that show a dick, but it's hard not to agree with him. As long as the "powerful people" use this format of shouting rote talking points at each other to discuss the major issues of the day, people are going to think those issues carry the same importance as anything else people argue about. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think abortion or war or classified information leaks should be discussed on television in the same manner I discuss the merits of Exile on Main St. with my friends at home. A simple flip down the cable dial will show you that's how it's done though. If you turn down the volume and take away the graphics, you'd be hard pressed to figure out the difference between Hannity and Colmes (FNC), Around the Horn (ESPN), Movie Club with John Ridley (AMC), or whatever red carpet fashion review that Joan Rivers is hosting on whatever network she works for now. They're all debating, they're all animated, and they're all vapidly spewing out clichés. I guess Bernard Goldberg didn't want to own up to how this phenomenon is screwing up America because then he'd have no avenue to promote the book (which is currently #2 over at amazon). That's probably why things will never change. Each side will just get louder and louder because both sides think volume and fanaticism is all it takes to prove them the victor regardless of the merit of their ideas. We've got to stop them. If you don't think they are hurting America like Jon Stewart claims, they are at the very least hurting me. I think we should assemble an "all-star" panel of crazy politicians, wacky religious figures, and talking heads from all over and put them on the ultimate debating panel. Let them start out with some typical topics and when they have all worked up a good sweat from trying to out talk each other, we spring the final topic on them: Television Debate, Does It Accomplish Anything? There'll be a short period of silence before someone finally thinks of something to say to stick up for their profession. Then someone who doesn't like that first person will take the opposing side just out of spite and before you know it they'll all be screaming at each other. Here's the kicker though: all the while they will all secretly be on the same side of the issue because they all get off on the screaming and the name-calling and for some of them it's their only source of income. They’ve got to protect their jobs after all. This verbal cage match will reach such a hypocritical and paradoxical cacophony that eventually their heads will explode thus freeing us from their horrible, hateful, and (listen up, Mr. Goldberg) rude ways. We can call the panel, "100 People Who Are Screwing Up Our Hearing."

One last note: If while promoting his book Bernard Goldberg makes it onto The Tonight Show, The Late Show, or Late Night (and I can only hope that he does), I sure hope the band plays The White Stripes song "I'm Finding It Harder to Be a Gentleman" for his intro.